Monday, July 24, 2023

Finishing up Gazing 歲月人生

I've been looking at the half finished "Gazing out the window" project for over a week now and I am most tempted to leave it the way it is.  In a way, and not out of being lazy, I am not dissatisfied with that painting if I had to quit right now.  The painting as it stands definitely screams out for completion, but at the same time it provokes an investigative urge, and inquiring mind.  What is this painting about?  The viewer completes the story.  

But I do need to go through with my plot and see how congruent my painting is to my thoughts.  

I am going to attack the space where the graffiti lies.  My intention is to make the wall dark, obviously, since it is inside a room.  Yet I want to leave just enough ambient light to perhaps see the graffiti a bit.  The question I pose to myself is that why does it even matter.  Most viewers here ( in the States) can't read Chinese anyways so whether the graffiti is legible or not has no bearing to the painting. 

True, but I paint for myself.  My selfish and narcissistic self.  I have myself to answer to.

In order to lay down an even wash without too much streaking, I am using the biggest brush that I posses.  Theoretically I could wet the paper down first so the ink wash spreads out and diffuses more evenly, but then I run the risk of not having a concrete edge for my window, especially in this high contrast environment.  I am trying to use just the right amount of ink wash such that it spreads nicely and evenly without causing too much bleeding along the edges.  I also have my trusted hair dryer near by just in case things get out of hand.  I can spot dry the wash rather quickly with the hair dryer to arrest any unintended bleeding of the wash.



Knowing that I can be pretty sloppy with wash laden brushes, I am shielding the rest of the painting with a cover.  Any errant splashes or ink drops would stain the cover and not my work in progress.



I have the upper portion of wall washed in ink, with barely a degree of transparency to see the graffiti.
The challenge of painting on Xuan paper is to know how much lighter the painting will become once the ink is dried.  A wet paper assumes a much darker appearance.


The wall behind the woman is also washed with ink.  I am careful to leave a hint of her shadow, even on this dark wall.  I believe this understated detail adds to the overall presence of the figure, subliminally perhaps.  In the classical Chinese way of speaking, we acknowledge that ink has six colors, or attributes, however you want to call it.  In a way I am playing with my ink tones to see if I can make the painting interesting.  Leaving a shadow on a dark wall is one such game that I play.  Using the big void as the window is also one of the "color" of the ink.



So I am now at another one of those junctures where I ask myself, should I go on.  Just like the half finished work from the last blog, I find the painting has just asked me to think again.  I would not be displeased if this is a finished painting.  It does have pleasing composition geometry and that enigmatic quality that I am after.

I am reminding myself that the title is gazing out the window.  If I stop now, it would be gazing out the doorway.  Onward, soldier!


I am applying undiluted ink to the bottom part of the window because I want this part of the wall  to be darker than the rest.  It helps to provide an anchor for my visual reference.  I am not going to paint in the left hand side of the window enclosure.  I want to leave the void open.  I want her motivation to stand by the window and gaze out to be an open-ended question, symbolically at least.  


So she is standing by the window, perhaps enjoying some anonymity by being in a dark space.  Finding a little solace for being in the shadow.  Choosing to relinquish the weight of her torso by leaning against the wall, getting support.  She is holding her own arm with the opposite hand, as if looking for reassurance.  Her lips are half open and not sealed tight, as if breathing a sigh. Or was that a rueful smile?  She is neither smug nor tense.  I am curious as to what she is gazing at.  What is in her head. 

I showed this painting to my friends and one of them said "Ah, that's Rembrandt lighting."

Cool! 

And Thank You,  I learned something.  

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