I also thought the arrangement of the elements was a little too cozy. I thought the garden should be a bit larger.
My challenge is to set the pavilion up in a more elaborate and spacious environment, but still make the pavilion the focal point of my exercise.
The paper now has a wider aspect, forcing me to stretch out the placement of the different elements.
Right off the bat I thought the painting looked a little cold, too austere and not very becoming.
I also felt the separation of the breezeway from the pavilion was not handled as well as the original painting. I needed to bring out the pavilion without making it ostentatious. I mixed indigo with ink and dressed the tiles of the pavilion
That seemed to address the problem alright. The subdued blue pulled the pavilion out without a disconnect from the background.
The painting did not have enough headroom, especially considering the fact that I wasn't going to paint in the reflections like I did on the last one. I could have moved the whole thing down a notch.
Also the rocks by the waterline seemed lifeless. I would try to add in a thin bordered waterline when I have more time to contemplate the remedies.
The tree next to the pavilion was at even height with the pavilion. This did not speak of a nice contrast of the two, and presented a rather dull relationship of the elements. This could be corrected rather easily.
But then I noticed a glaring mistake:
The roof ridge on the left ( circled in red ) was too thick, too big and too solid and totally distracted from the focal point, unless I was painting Pinocchio's nose of course. It should have been a lot lighter and fading out to the sweeping lift, to blend in with the disappearing tiles.
This mistake could not have been corrected easily. Seems like a new attempt is in order.
(please visit "Planting a Tree" dated 8/18/14 on the follow-up)
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