A Glimpse

Every time I drove on the freeway I couldn't help but be fixated at the distant hills.

With the fog, the rain, and the decreasing daylight, the details on the hills were trying their best to be revealed.  It was just a silhouette a moment ago, but serendipitously pupils dilated and my rods and cones sprang into action, and my visual cortex interpolated the shadow into features and details.  I suppose this is how I would define soul.

I could see the branches and leaves floating in the swirl of  darkness, shrouded in haze, against a clearing in this otherwise featureless veil.  I was having tunnel vision.

I began by recalling the tree branches and the hilltop.  I used dots instead of discrete lines to denote the pixels.  I was trying to make them discreet.

I attempted many layers of different colors, hoping for a well blended body with hints and punctuations of amorphous features.

For my color, I used dabs of gamboge, phthalacyanine blue and ink and I sat them on different edges on my plate.  I did this so that I could freely mix those 3 in any combinations and obtained a continuum of colors.  This is almost like a living color chart, continually evolving and changing depending on my mood.   The technique could be used most effectively on a small scale; to be used extemporaneously.   I wouldn't do it if I needed a large quantity of a given color.

I then began to paint in the veil of darkness. 

I was trying to achieve the effect of extreme vignetting, with most of the 4 corners darkened.  This is where I lost my resiliency.  Perhaps I've spent all my patience building up all the pixels for the hilltop!  I felt the urge to hurry.

I did not take steps to build up my haze.  I miscalculated the wet Xuan.  I over compensated for the eventual saturation of the ink.  I was getting streaks instead of a haze.  These must be the wrinkles in the veil that I failed to see.

After copious dousing with my brush wash, I was able to hide the flaws and render them less obtrusive.

I started out by painting a well defined scene that I recalled but as the process went on I found my focal point changing.  As I became more involved with the painting, my desire to reveal concrete objects became a backstage  to portray a certain feeling.  I was drawn in more and more by that yearning for a bright spot in this desolate landscape.  For all I care it could be ET parting the dark sky and motioning for me to come home.  I felt a strong urge to hide the physicality of the painting and just go for the guts, literally.  I showed my painting to my acquaintances and almost all were trying to find the representational aspects.  Were you painting a sea?  You were painting reflections in water!

I suppose I succeeded in confusing my audience, yet I failed to deliver the basic sentiments. Would it help after make it wear the label " A Glimpse"?